Monday, August 29, 2011

You know you're a new parent if:

  • you've ever uttered the phrase, “It's only a little baby pee.”

  • going to the grocery store is the highlight of your day.

  • you've wondered if it's appropriate to bring your baby to a bar.

  • naptime isn't just for kids anymore.
  • you can't remember what life was like when you were fully rested.
  • experiencing the world outside of your house is like walking on the moon.
  • you buy both Red Bull and Pampers in bulk.
  • taking the dog for a walk seems like too much of a hassle.
  • your major accomplishment for the day was taking a shower.
  • the only thing in the entire world that you have ever imagined wanting is sleep.
  • you find bits of baby poo stuck to your favorite shoes.
  • tiny little smiles melt your heart in a big way.
  • you've ever had to coordinate drinking a beer with feeding a child.
  • at the end of a very difficult day, coos and smiles make it all better.
  • you can change a diaper while asleep, literally.
  • things like percentiles begin to make sense.
  • you begin clipping, saving and actually using coupons.
  • most of what comes out of your mouth is baby gibberish.
  • you are constantly doing laundry. (I mean it, constantly.)
  • you worry about things like rashes, allergy bumps and dry skin. (Gross.)
  • your baby isn't the only one who is crying these days.
  • you'd give your pinky toe for your baby to sleep through the night. 

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