You know you're a new parent if:

• you've ever uttered the phrase, “It's only a little baby pee.”
  
  
• going to the grocery store is the highlight of your day.
  
  
• you've wondered if it's appropriate to bring your baby to a bar.
  
  
• naptime isn't just for kids anymore.

• you can't remember what life was like when you were fully rested.

• experiencing the world outside of your house is like walking on the moon.

• you buy both Red Bull and Pampers in bulk.

• taking the dog for a walk seems like too much of a hassle.

• your major accomplishment for the day was taking a shower.

• the only thing in the entire world that you have ever imagined wanting is sleep.

• you find bits of baby poo stuck to your favorite shoes.

• tiny little smiles melt your heart in a big way.

• you've ever had to coordinate drinking a beer with feeding a child.

• at the end of a very difficult day, coos and smiles make it all better.

• you can change a diaper while asleep, literally.

• things like percentiles begin to make sense.

• you begin clipping, saving and actually using coupons.

• most of what comes out of your mouth is baby gibberish.

• you are constantly doing laundry. (I mean it, constantly.)

• you worry about things like rashes, allergy bumps and dry skin. (Gross.)

• your baby isn't the only one who is crying these days.

• you'd give your pinky toe for your baby to sleep through the night.